Musical Chairs
by ramblingtay
Summary: Bella tried to sleep forever, but was awoken to find Edward. Mysteriously seductive Edward, and Bella is determined to find out what he is hiding from her, no matter what it takes. Will it be a game of dot-to-dot, or will they be playing musical chairs?
1. Preface

A/N: this story contains adult themes which may be offensive to some readers. It includes subjects such as including suicide, sexual content, abusive behaviour and such, and also uses language that may not be tolerated by some readers. If that isn't for you, I wouldn't read on :)

All twilight characters, universe, themes and everything related to the twilight saga is thanks and owned by Stephenie Meyer.

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**Preface**

I didn't realise until I was actually lying next to him, that I actually had fallen in _love_. Perhaps not with him, or not fully, but I was truly in love, and it had only been this way since he had appeared.

I sat there, my naked back beginning to feel the breeze from the gap in the window behind me. I felt as if I could lie here forever. Maybe, allow the bed to consume my body and let my mind float beneath the sheets and wind its way around him. I could just lie here peacefully, sleeping in his aura, but appearing wide awake.

I almost felt like we were tied. In some spiritual kind of way, I felt like if we were ever to walk too far apart from each other, we would be stopped by a force greater than all. That there would never be a time when I felt that he was not there, because he would be, always.

I contemplated for a second. I couldn't really love him, could I? Or be in love at all. I had known this man for not even **28 days** and I felt this strongly for him. Was this how you felt when you were in love? Because up until now my preconceived notions of love had been far from this. This was elation. This was euphoria. It truly was what I thought to be love. I repeated the word over and over. I couldn't be with him. 27 days ago, I had not even known of his existence, not even noticed as he watched over me, not even noticed when he had saved my life. And yet, here I was, lying naked beside him.

The most _beautiful_ being I had ever seen. He lay there so serene, angelic almost.

I felt like a prepubescent girl all over again, crushing on the first boy to remember my name. I felt like a child.

I closed my eyes, trying to forget that there was no possible way this could end well. It was my stupid childish ways that had started all of this. The stupid songs and my stupid legs. And not to mention that I didn't have a vast track record with luck. Not that I really believed in it, but in times like these I felt that it was better to think a higher force was at work, that was out of my control and out of the reach of my ruining hands, and that if anything went wrong, it was meant to be.

I wondered if he'd ever notice. That all we were doing was playing a game, a silent game that would spoil everything because neither of us knew the rules.

I felt like the reader of a pre twentieth century book and the dramatic irony was almost too much to bare. I inhaled deeply, careful not to move his solid skeleton. I exhaled silently. I couldn't do anything else except worry, but the more I thought over it the less I could do. I couldn't predict the future and this wasn't some story I was reading. It will end how it ends. I inhaled once more, this time exhaling loudly enough for it to break the perfect serenity. He stirred and placed his head softly against my shoulder. His eyes fluttered, violently.

He was so beautiful and he was all mine.

**For now.**


	2. 28 Chairs: Suicide

A/N: this story contains adult themes which may be offensive to some readers. It includes subjects such as including suicide, sexual content, abusive behaviour and such, and also uses language that may not be tolerated by some readers. If that isn't for you, I wouldn't read on :)

All twilight characters, universe, themes and everything related to the twilight saga is thanks and owned by Stephenie Meyer.

Hey if anyone is actually reading this lol.. im so new to this and would really appriciate it, if someone just steered me in the right direction :) like i have no idea about all this betaing thang :

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**28 chairs: Suicide**

_Suicide, from the Latin suicidium, from sui caedere, "to kill oneself".. is the term used for the deliberate self-destruction of a human being, by causing their body to cease life function._

I lay there.

Waiting to **_die_.**

Waiting to feel my pulse start to stumble and slow, and waiting to fall dreamlessly into the perfect slumber. I could feel it coming, and I welcomed it with open arms. I was ready.

I lay there still, flat on my back, staring soullessly up at the ceiling.

The off white paint began to swirl in and out of grey and white and sometimes black, consuming the colour before each time.

I sighed heavily.

Soon the paracetamol would kick in. Or the ibuprofen. And the salt water would began to absorb all the liquid left inside me and I would slowly dehydrate myself into nothing.

Fuck was I depressing.

My heavy pulse matched that of the outside music and I quickly reminded myself I was not alone.

A party. The perfect setting. I had planned everything out so this was exactly how I wanted it. It was my party. I couldn't carry the burden of ruining someone else's, even if it was shit. That's if you could carry burdens when you were dead. I wouldn't want to make it even more of a scene than it already would. The thought of all the attention stirred a sickening ache n the back of my throat.

I hung around at the beginning, welcoming people and hurrying myself around, keeping my mind off the coming events. I stayed calm because i needed to, i couldn't let anyone on. After a while people started inviting themselves in and i was no longer needed to pair up couples or wipe fucking sick from the fucking walls. Everyone seemed to help themselves. Perfect.

I waited for a dance track that I knew everyone would go crazy for. No one would leave the 'scene' for me, I knew that without even asking.

I'd also chosen a room in advance, but it wasn't my own.

I lay on Renee's bed, using her paracetamol, her ibuprofen and her £70 jug that was bought instead of a weekly grocery shop, to put the water in. I poured in a quarter of salt. I didn't quite know how much you needed for it to work, but I was sure, with the mixture of everything else, I wouldn't need to be that much.

28+28=56

56 tablets and a litre and half of saltwater would drown this sorry seed. I started to think of all the things I would miss and the obligations I couldn't keep. It made me think of saying goodbye.

I didn't know how to sum up all of what she had put me through. The years of pain and anxiety and fear. Although all I wanted to tell her how much I wished it hadn't come to this, and that she was in my position. I couldn't.

This stupid piece of my heart was telling me that she was still my mum. My absolute shit alcoholic of a mum. That however many times she had almost killed me, or let other people try, I **loved **her. A tiny bit. The most miniscule amount that I could. I did.

So I decided to leave her out of it.

_Tell Charlie I love him_

There was nothing else. That was my life. I was my life.

No one else would care if I lived or died, as long as it didn't interlink with anything they were doing, I could happily drop down in front of them now and no one would bat an eyelid.

I didn't blame them.

I was a nobody. And I liked it that way.

I wasn't doing this for spite, or revenge or attention. I was doing this, because I knew that this was the best thing for me. That this way, I could... everyone else could live happily without the burden of me on their backs. I did it for Charlie really. I knew that he worried and felt fucking awful for not being able to help me, especially when I was young, but it wasn't his fault. The stupid bitch took away every right to me he had the day she left and he couldn't blame himself for her downfall. He reminded me of myself, although I didn't know him all too well, I just felt this present that seemed to mimic my own, whilst hiding in a shadow in the corner of a room.

I squinted my eyes together, feeling a migraine coming on.

Patience is a virtue they say. I don't fucking think so. How long was I going to be here for? Days?

Suppose there wasn't much else I could do.

I rubbed my head in order to make it seem as if, the touch of my smooth cool skin would soothe the crumpled pain behind my eyes. My forehead began to burn.

Sweating? Temperature, maybe? Fever?

I could feel my lungs tighten and my muscles ache and fall limp on the duvet around me. My eyes began to droop and my thoughts began to spin in and out of each other, making nonsense pictures within my mind. I began to slowly slip through hallucinations and began to struggle to figure out was real. Everything seemed to be peaceful and the blare of the music downstairs faded to a dull murmur, gently shaking the ground. This was it.

Was this how you felt you were born?

Because at this moment, I felt numb. Nothing could hurt me and nothing could stir me. For a moment I felt invisible, like I could float above my body and weave meander my way around the people below.

Not that there is anyone interesting around here.

Fucking ghost town_._

Maybe that's because everyone who lives here, feels as if the soil needs them more others do.

I needed to stop allowing my depression infested thoughts fill my mind. This was just life, it needed to be done. This was my time, and in doing this everyone's life would be altered. For the better.

I closed my eyes, for the final time, in took a short breath, exhaled for as long as I could, and forced myself to think of the happiest picture I could paint. The one thing, that if I had to, I could stare at forever.

This beautifully carved face that sparkled in the sun and had the most flawless skin I had ever seen. This stunning man built from marble that stood in front of me, in his solid unchanging form.

I didn't know him. He wasn't real. Just someone I had conjured up a few years back in times of absolute desperation. He made me feel slightly warmer inside as if in the tips of my toes something was glowing. I used to think of him for hours, because he had this way of blocking everything I didn't want to think of.

And right now I didn't want to think of anyone or anything. This was for the best. It would hurt peop... Charlie for a while, but eventually the sting would fade and the graze would heal and he could carry on his life, with a permanent smile. A smile I only saw when he was not thinking of his daughter.

I shivered in the cold and wondered if that was the last movement I would make.

'Goodbye' I whispered, and fell sweetly into death. The possibility of ever waking up again was nonexistent.

I was **free**.


	3. 27 Chairs: Instinct

A/N: this story contains adult themes which may be offensive to some readers. It includes subjects such as including suicide, sexual content, abusive behaviour and such, and also uses language that may not be tolerated by some readers. If that isn't for you, I wouldn't read on :)

All twilight characters, universe, themes and everything related to the twilight saga is thanks and owned by Stephenie Meyer.

Hey guys :) sorry Its been quite awhile since I uploaded the last chapter, I've been very busy with GCSE's and what not :) hope you enjoy..

btw if anyone fancied being beta (not that I know what one is or does) I would really appreciate it :) thankyou!

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**27 chairs: Instinct**

_Instinct: A powerful motivation or impulse._

I was awake, an apparently _breathing_.

This was not heaven or hell as a matter of fact.

This was bright lights, and soft voices and paper sheets.

Fucking hospital.

Someone had found me, and put me in a fucking hospital.

Well, we know that it wasn't Renee. I sat up wide eyed, allowing slowly them to adjust to the light. What had happened? I had made sure that there was absolutely **no** possibility of me waking up, and facing this embarrassment. I yawned taking in a gulp of air. My throat was dry and my mouth had the nauseating taste of old alcohol. No one I recognised seemed to be waiting for me. I laid back down, stretching out on the rough surface of paper-like sheet. I closed my eyes, unwillingly. If I go back to sleep now, I suppose I could wait for someone to wake me up, then act all confused and bewildered as to why I was found lying on Renée's bed with a litres worth of salt water and 56 prescribed tablets in my system. When it was put like that, I sounded pretty badass! I opened my eyes to an unfortunately familiar face.

"Hello Bella, how are felling?"

"I'm going to have to say I'm feeling absolutely fantastic Carlisle, I've never been better"

'I'd prefer it if you called me doctor Cullen whilst we're in the hospital, and I'd also prefer if you left the sarcasm at home for now. Do you know why you're here Bella?'

I swallowed deeply. Carlisle Cullen was the local doctor, the town hero, the saviour if you will. Everyone knew Carlisle, but I happened to be on slightly more friendly terms with him as every Saturday since I can remember, he has been sitting in on my 'shrink time' and I've grown fond of his welcoming smiles and mouthed messages across the room. This is exactly why I did not want to answer this question. Not to him, anyone else but not Carlisle.

"I have a faint idea, but enlighten me doctor" my attempt at taking the edge of had quite the opposite effect. It seemed to make the situation more uneasy, and I could feel the awkward tension.

"You were found passed out Bella, on your mother's bed. You'd taken some tablets and you were severely dehydrated. Do you remember what you took Bella?"

Why did Carlisle have to be so damn loving? I looked into his eyes and his voice would lure me into this sense of security in which I fell victim to every time.

"I have a vague Idea, look Carli- doctor, it was nothing, really. Just a mistake. A bit of fun, there was really nothing meant by it"

"Bella, you've been in out for three days now. I wouldn't call that a bit of fun"

Three days! No wonder no one was here, they've probably given up hope. **Three fucking days**. Wow. I didn't know it could have that kind of effect on you.

"Carlisle it was nothing, just feeling a bit low, needed the attention that's all"

I hated lying to him, because he had this instinct, where he knew who was lying, like a radar, and he caught me red handed every time.

"Bella, I find it very hard to believe that _you_, of all people, felt the need for attention. Really if you _must_ lie, please make them convincing enough for me to question myself"

He was right. About everything. I did need to get better at lying and out of everyone in Forks I'd spent my whole life shying from the attention others craved and making myself invisible. It was a triumph I had finally achieved and was proud of. A cold chill ran through my body.

"Where is Renee?" I blinked quickly and felt my muscles tense.

"She's gone back to Jacksonville I believe. She had words with Charlie, i'm not fully aware of the arrangements but by his attitude earlier I judged you'd be staying with him for awhile."

My heart calmed, and my muscles relaxed. I missed Charlie. Renee had only moved back down to Forks because I'd told the social that I wanted to be closer to Charlie and that it would help improve my situation. She'd practically been forced. It wasn't without consequences though, but I'd expected that. I'm sure now that she finally had an excuse to leave me with him, she'd be having a roaring time with Phil and the rest of his baseball team.

"How long do I have to stay here for?"

"Well you've only just come round Bella; I'd like to keep you here for at least another night, for observational purposes. You can't be feeling yourself. Would you like me to get you anything?"

His words flew through my head without me listening; he stared at me blankly as if waiting for an answer. I shook my head, anticipating that whatever he was asking I wouldn't want it. All I wanted right now was peace and quiet, and preferably my own bed.

"Alright then, I'll be back in about an hour to run some short tests but I'll leave you in peace for now. Edward is waiting outside, he's been _dying _for you to wake up, I'll just go and get him"

"Edward?"

I looked at him puzzled.** Edward Cullen**? Why would he be waiting for me? I'd never spoken to him in my life. He goes to Forks high and I went to school in La Push, Renee didn't want me mixing with the local kids, she thought it would be easier for them to find out.

"Yes, Edward. He was the one that found you Bella, he saved your life"

Carlisle walked out slowly, his perfect posture continuing with his hover-like walk. Edward Cullen had saved me life. **Why? **Why had he done that? Had he not seen my attempt at a suicide note, lying beside me? Obviously not. My head began to hurt as I wondered more of why Edward would want to save me. I expect he just felt compelled to help the poor little dead girl, maybe take the glory off his superhuman father. Then again, Edward didn't seem the type to waltz into the spotlight, Id say he more would stumbled across it. Come to think of it, I hadn't seen Edward in a while. Had he become a recluse? Religious, maybe? And why would he be at my party. I only invited people from school and Jacob and his lot. Why would Edward Cullen even heard of my party?

Something felt **wrong**.

It felt as if a piece was missing from this puzzled that held no answers. Edward was this clue to something bigger. He felt out of place. As if he were playing the wrong game. I pondered on him. Falling into a dream filled sleep, where I would see his eyes, in line with mine and I could feel his breath on my lips. I'd never noticed how perfect his face was before this. His jaw was perfectly angular and masculine and his skin was pour less and radiant. He almost glittered with beauty. He reminded me of the man in my dreams. The one that stopped me from feeling. His heavy breaths sped into a rhythm but were soon paused by the loud sound of flocking people and an unruly commotion.

I opened my eyes swiftly and there _**he**_ was.


	4. Hide and Seek

A/N Guys, before i start rambling off excuse as to why it has been a rather long time since i updated, i would like to say.. im sorry.

right well firstly, I actually started writing this next chapter as Edwards view of 28 chairs, however I read it through and i just didn't want you guys to know Edward quite yet. It would give away too much and I'm much to mean for that. I also have been pretty busy with exams, but my last one is on Tuesday YAY! so after that I want to be updating hopefully every week to week and a half :) This chapter is kind of short but i didn't want it to carry on any longer than it needed too. I promise the chapters are definitely going to get longer as Bella and Edwards relationship grows :) you'll also notice this isn't one of the chairs. I thought it was important that the chair chapters are different the normal ones. Chair chapters are more of a step closers to Bella finding out, whatever needs to be found out ;) Normal chapters are by no means less important but they just don't help her find anything out. I hope you like it, and im sorry for the wait! ...I cant wait for you guys to meet Edward properly..

i would love a few reviews because i have no idea what you guys feel on any of this. Dont hold back, i can take it.

Love taytay :)

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**Hide and Seek...**

I didn't _understand_ why he was here. I didn't understand any of it. I didn't know whether it was because I'd only just come around or this boy was followed by a serious fog of confusion. I just didn't understand him.

He stared at me, right into my eyes, like he too was looking for answers. He backed away from the bed slowly and carefully, as if not to ruin the peace and sat on the chair. But he didn't break the eye contact. I'd never really looked at Edward Cullen. I didn't think I'd ever heard his name ring allowed in my head so many times. But now he was here, suddenly caught in the web of my life, I realised I liked his name in my head. I liked looking at him. He truly was beautiful. He was defined, so quiet, such a mystery to me. Thoughts of him swam around in my head and after four minutes I realised we still hadn't stop staring. My eyes began to sting slightly and I realised the awkwardness in the room. I blinked, in an attempt to stop him burning holes in my face. But it didn't work. He still stared, his eyes seemed to have deepened and darkened and for the first time I realized the room was absolutely silent. I couldn't even hear the sound of him breathing.

"Hi Bella" his voiced erupted from his mouth quickly and rushed as if he wanted to say my name as fast as he could, so I wouldn't hear him.

"Hey" I said quietly. What the fuck was I doing? Why wasn't I asking him why the hell he was here? What he thought he was doing saving my life? and Why the fuck was he so beautiful? Oh, scratch the last one.

I opened my mouth in intent to scream at him, and ask him to leave me the fuck alone and never look at me again, but nothing but a gush of air came out. All I could do was fucking breath, and that was hard enough.

He lay back on the seat and closed his eyes. He seemed to be trying rearrange things in his mind, and sort everything out. The expression on his face made it seem like he was almost trying to calm himself down. Why was he angry? He wasn't the one who'd been lying in this hospital bed for three days. He wasn't the one who opened their eyes to bright white lights when they actually never expected them to open again. He wasn't the one with almost a complete stranger staring the shit out of them.

But I couldn't tell him. He was exactly like his father. He had this power over me, but more. He had this control and I wasn't sure if he knew about it.

I turned over onto my side, pretending to go to sleep and praying that when I awoke he'd be gone and I'd be able to get out of this place.

I could feel his eyes on my back. He didn't make a single noise. He just sat there fore how long I didn't know. The time seemed to tick away and I couldn't forget his eyes. I began to inhale deeply through my nose and appreciate the fact he scent had filled the entire room. He smelled amazing. Rich and Strong but not over powering. He smelt of a scent I could only describe as home. Home and the clean male body.

He smelt wonderful.

I head the door swiftly close and turned round to see an empty chair. He'd gone. With not even a goodbye. This boy was not one I should be involved with. He seemed full of silent secrets and hidden insight. He seemed to know just a little too much.

Carlisle appeared at the door smiling.

"Did Edward leave? I hope you managed to say thank you and I hope he explained everything. He hasn't really been acting at all himself since then, did he mention anything to you?"

What do you mean did he mention anything. He didn't fucking say anything. And no I didn't say thank you, and I didn't want to. There was nothing to say thank you for. Perhaps thanks a fucking lot was what I should say. Thanks a fucking lot for bringing me back when I didn't want to.

I seethed with anger. I didn't care that he wasn't acting right and I didn't care about him. Carlisle need to leave the room before I spat out words I couldn't take back and didn't entirely mean.

I nodded in reply to Carlisle. He smiled softly and left me alone.

The sooner I got out of this shitty place the better, the sooner I could see Charlie and the sooner all this shit would disappear and I couldn't go back to being Bella.

Fuck Edward, fuck everything. I lifted my head slightly and felt a pounding headache emerge.

**Fuck.**

**where are we, whats the hell is going on, The dust has only just began to form, crop circles the carpet, sinking, feeling.**

**Hide and Seek – Imogen Heap**


	5. Linger On

A/N: this story contains adult themes which may be offensive to some readers. It includes subjects such as suicide, sexual content, abusive behaviour and such, and also uses language that may not be tolerated by some readers. If that isn't for you, I wouldn't read on :)

All twilight characters, universe, themes and everything related to the twilight saga are thanks and owned by Stephenie Meyer.

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Charlie was just what I _needed_.

When I first came out he wheeled me to the car, insisting that I may still be too fragile. He made sure I was comfortable in my room with pillows and shit, and that whenever I needed something I got it within 3 seconds of asking. He would come up to me every hour and he would send me frequent text messages from his spot on the couch.

But after a day or two, we settled into what seemed a perfectly functional routine. We just got on with our own lives. Chit chat wasn't really what we did. He would ask me how I was and I would tell him be safe, and that was our relationship. It was easy.

It was just what I needed.

With settling in to Charlie's, I almost forgot about Edward. But at night, when the silence, he was always there, waiting for me, as I drifted to sleep. I'd dream about him. It was something I was trying to keep under control and I often stayed awake as long as I could to hide from him. I didn't fucking get it. Why was he haunting my dreams? On many occasions I almost drove round to tell him. Tell him that he can't just get under people skin and crawl his way into their minds like this, but I didn't know where he lived and my confident cowardice talked me out of it every time.

It was so fucking hard to ban him from my brain.

So hard. I knew that there was a reason he saved me. He didn't just stumble across my body or stumble across my house. There was a small and stupid and perhaps somewhat wishful part of me, which thought that he may, just may, have been looking for me. But this, I also didn't understand. I hated him for it. I hated him for making me think about him and dream about him. I would sit in my room all night livid with anger, for this beautiful boy, who in so many people's eyes had saved my life.

I think even Charlie started to notice. He'd give me weary looks and stare at me, creasing his forehead. I could hear his mind churn. He wasn't subtle, I can tell you that.

When Monday finally came I'd almost worked myself up into a fit and convinced myself that home schooling was for me, but when my alarm went off at 6.15 I got out of bed without any trouble and dragged myself off to the bathroom.

When I got downstairs Charlie had already left, but had scribbled a note and stuck it on the front of the fridge.

**'Have a good day Bells. Be safe. Charlie xx'**

I took it down, dropping the magnet purposely that was holding to the frigde on the floor and let it roll under the table. Did he think I was stupid? What with the Charlie? With only the two of us living in this house, it was evident that he was the one who had written the note. I wish he wouldn't treat me like I was four either. I stole a biscuit from the cupboard and glugged down some squash that had been left on the side. Edward was turning me into a moody bitch.

This was going to be a fucking awful Monday, I could tell already.

My truck trudged into the school parking lot with its obvious spluttering and its usual trail of smoke behind it, i was surpirsed that everyone standing behind didnt get gased immeadiately.

All day, everyone insisted on telling me I was the new girl and offering to sit with me at lunch or walk me to my next lesson, and every single one called me Isabella.

This dick called Mike Newton hung at my feet. Offering to pretty much live my life for me. I didnt need some spotty boy ruining my peace. Fuck, I didnt need a boyfriend, I didnt even need friends. If he wanted a quick shag, I'd be up for that, It might realease some of my anger, but even that I wasnt sure if he was the right guy to be fulfilling those kind of needs. He probally tell all his friends and I could really do without being the 'slut'. Not on my first day anyway.

All my lessons were pretty boring, but when it came to last period biology I perked up. I liked biology, I was good at biology, and as far as I knew, Newton wasnt in my biology.

I got there and introduced myself to the teacher, he seemed pretty alright, didnt make me do some big speech or anything. He just pointed me in the way of the only spare seat in the class. Most of the kids were already sitting and staring so i tried my very hardest not to fall over my own feet, which was tricky, i can tell you. I looked up and saw Newton, oh, fuck, well thats the lesson ruined. He moved out the way and I realised that he didnt sit near me. I thanked the lord silently to myself. I blinked and in the millisecond my eyes were closed Mike moved out the way and there goes the earlier comment, My day was now ruined. I sighed heavily. i had to sit next to him. Edward fucking Cullen.

**Just what I needed.**

**Sometimes I feel so happy. Sometimes I feel so sad. Sometimes I feel so happy, But mostly you just make me mad.**

**Linger On - The Velvet Underground**


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